no title.

W
R
O
N
G
!

wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong~
am i wrong?
i am wrong?
wrong, am i?
what's wrong?
nope, who's wrong?
you?
no?
me?
no?
who?
wrong?
what?
why?
who again?
wrong?
hmmmm?
really wrong?
something missing?
wrong instead?
i insist?
you insist?
no?
who who who??
wrong?!!
noooo~
wrong!!
NOOOO!!
wrong~~?
OoO
WRONG!@#$%^&*()_+
ahhhh~
this is better..
still..
WRONG!!!!
sigh..
again?
wrong?
=(
*jumps*

-_-

OH HOLY SHIT!!

Why do i?
Always fall on the brink of death?!!!!

-_-

Let me relate what happened..
I WAS RAINING HEAVILY!
REAL HEAVY!!!

I was on my way home about half an hour ago..
And the stupid uncle..
Just for 20 cents sake, decided to drive me deep into the carpark..
He did that because he wanted to make the meter go from $7.80 => $$8.00
Okay, that was retarded..
But nevertheless, i just alighted and headed for home..

Then i saw a flash of lightning..
OoO
But then i thought never mind..
It can't hit me anyways..
I'm awfully short for that..
So i continued to walk..
Then i heard a creaking sound..
It was no normal creaking sound..
I swear it was something LOUD and NEAR..
Oh shit..
Holy crap too..

THE FREAKING TREE WAS BREAKING!!!

It was at least 3 stories tall?!!

-_-
And soon enough it fell down..
On the HARD COLD FLOOR!!
OH LORD~~
He damned the tree instead..
I was imagining if i had been the one under the tree..

T.T
Then i wouldn't live to see anyone again~
Oh shit..
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!

Sigh.

=)

I've been reading up alot lately..
Mainly books..

And i found myself mesmerised with the fantasy genre of them..
I found those books very intriguing..
A few days ago, the rabbit said i had depression..
She read it in a book though..
This was not to my amusement as in fact, there were literally obvious symptoms and i chose to ignore it..

Haha..
I wouldn't take this all seriously now, would i?
As oblivious to my surroundings as i am now..
I clearly begin to construct my mind around a barrier of thoughts that involved the unrealistic world..
Places where the most remarkable beings and lands exist..
HA!
Was i dreaming then??
Nope, i had a clear head..
It was just a mere thought..
Perhaps then, clouded with foolish thoughts of wanting to escape and run away..

I didn't really like the world i was in..
And somehow, after the exposure to the various "elements"..
I had begun to dream up my own form of the perfect world..
Maybe it should have really existed..

As i believe, that to many of you people out there..
There is something..
Definitely captivating and alluring..
Wanting to draw you closer..
Be it a form of energy..
Or a form of fantasy..
Still, it is your own story..

Well, my point would be..
Yes.. It is correct for us to dream..
However, picking yourself up from that dream is rather complicated i can say..
I have such an experience before and it certainly doesn't feel that refreshing..
So deep in your slumber, be the dreamt up you..
And when you wake, be the real you..

Just like the real me..
=)

For the better..

Sometimes, i hate myself. For not being able to express myself clearly.
And using words, just doesn't make much sense, does it?

Without people having to look at your face, it is very difficult.
Deep down hurting and wincing in agony.
Yet the words still do not get across.

I feel demoralized.
I feel sad.
If there was a way to made people understand what i am picturing, that would be great.
It is always the most difficult thing to do, to get your thoughts across to others.
Some way or another, the thoughts did not seem as serious, or as hurt as it should be.
If words could replace facial expressions, then i wouldn't have to spend difficult times clarifying things and working things out.

All i wanted was to make you understand.
It was that simple.
The feelings felt were the sourness and the disappointment.
Not being able to express in words is truly a miserable thing.

It was still felt as if the expressions are being labeled as " JUST WORDS"
so " JUST WORDS" didn't mean anything?
Then I'd have to be awfully really feeling terrible.

I value words.
And i value what they could bring to either party when it is spoken right.
When it is wrong, that's when everything goes haywire.

I am feeling very down as i am typing this.
If the words didn't show that it teared..
Would you even believe how seriously i took this matter for?

Bleah~

1 loaf of bread..
cheese onion and garlic..
toast it..
and it's done..

this loaf was, sadly, my supper..
just finished it..
so i feel damn bloated..
cuz tats 1 freaking loaf of bread..
more than 10 slices went down my stomach??
i wonder why i can eat so much..
-_-
ugh..
but i guess i'll need all the energy i need..

GRRR~~

One more day..

here's a recent book I've completed..
for one more day..
inspirational and interesting book to read..
it helps in spiritual growing..
as well as social consciousness..

making you aware of what is happening around you..
written in a way that you would really really appreciate the people around you..
you learn to love the people around you..
even if it doesn't really seem to matter now..
the relationships..
the vague recollection..
you treasure them..
for they won't last..
you know it..

soon, all will be gone..
it isn't a bad thing after all..
to die naturally..
as if it's god's will..

however, if you tried to kill yourself..
then that would be utter foolishness..

thy words i uphold..
if by any chance that it was broken..
i would die and be banished down to the depths of hell and peril..

cheers for the living..
and a toast to the dead..


what for??
it is just because u deserve it.

Just some thoughts..

When i went blundering back to God,
My songs half written, my work half done,
Who knows that paths my bruised feet had trod,
What hills of peace or pain i won?

I hope God smiles and takes my hand,
And says " Poor truant, passionate fool!"
Life's book is hard to understand:
Why couldst thou not remain at school?"

Charles
Hanson
Towne



" Let me guess. You want to know why i tried to kill myself ?"