Recap...

just ytd i was so damn angry..
and yet today i was so happy..

i was just suddenly surprised about how i can handle reality and changes happening..

the happiness was at work..
had the best day in uob ever..
with everyone..
and everyone..
i can hang on..
although there is still some bitch living on..
we won't give in..
zzz..

the more unhappy things was ytd..
i had some family problem..
ytd's matter..
now i wonder..
wad does it take to bond someone together..
is family bonding that difficult?

sometimes i see people having fun..
outside..
with their family and pets..
i feel sorta sianed..
as if all of these isn't fair at all..
why?
i don't know..

i was born like that..
into such a family..
with such parents and such siblings..

i can't do anything about it..
can i?
i really wish and hope to..

all i wanted was a heart warming and wen xin family..
i don't have any of those..
and i feel life has been very hard on me on the emotional side..

all of this isn't fair..
and i hate it..
i don't like it..
...

i want a father who cares about his family..
and his son..
for his well being..
and his wife..
for her temper..

and i also want a brother who can take care of himself and the family..
for someone so old already, isn't it filial to serve his parents?
and not vice versa?

sometimes i really question myself..
why am i born into such a family..
isit a trial?
or a problem i just have to go through..

that is why i always wanted to live alone..
sorta carefree..
but lonely..
and i have to do things all my myself..
on my own..

i admitt..
im spoilt..
seriously spoilt..
i can't even pour myself a cup of water..
-_-
what a failure right?

i can't help but think this way..
i just wanna be a bit happier at home..
the ppl here just made mi don't like it..
and i always wanna go home late..
just to avoid this..

isit really so difficult to do so?
really?

sadd.ed.